Oh, right, hey.

So, I've recently realized that I sometimes sign in to my google account to post comments on other blogs, and that redirects here.

Well, news flash, I don't use this blog anymore, but I do have some stuff happening on other sites around the interwebs, so check them out!

My personal blog: http://annogus.tumblr.com
My beginning attempts at fashion blogging: http://sparkplugminuet.tumblr.com
A small collection of thoughts on "serious issues": http://ayeffkm.tumblr.com
Video works: http://vimeo.com/annogus

Thanks for stopping by!

Band-Aids

1. Red Right Ankle - The Decemberists
This is the story of the boys who loved you
Who love you now and loved you then
And some were sweet, some were cold and snuffed you
And some just laid around in bed.

Some had crumbled you straight to your knees
Did it cruel, did it tenderly
Some had crawled their way into your heart
To rend your ventricles apart
This is the story of the boys who loved you

2. Someday You Will Be Loved - Death Cab for Cutie
You may feel alone when you're falling asleep
And every time tears roll down your cheeks
But I know your heart belongs to someone you've yet to meet
Someday you will be loved

You'll be loved you'll be loved
Like you never have known
The memories of me
Will seem more like bad dreams
Just a series of blurs
Like I never occurred
Someday you will be loved

3. Nothing Better - The Postal Service
Don't you feed me lines about some idealistic future
Your heart won't heal right if you keep tearing out the sutures

4. Rain - Patty Griffin
Its hard to know when to give up the fight
Some things you want will just never be right
Its never rained like it has to night before
Now I don't wanna beg you, baby
For something maybe you could never give
I'm not looking for the rest of your life
I just want another chance to live

Strange how hard it rains now
Rows and rows of big dark clouds
When I'm still alive underneath this shroud
Rain

5. Cath - Death Cab for Cutie
But you said your vows
And you closed the door
On so many men
Who would have loved you more

And soon everybody will ask
What became of you
'Cause your heart was dying fast
And you didn't know what to do

6. When it Don't Come Easy - Patty Griffin
So many things that I had before
That don't matter to me now
Tonight I cry for the love that I've lost
And the love I've never found

7. Come to Jesus - Mindy Smith
Worry not my daughters,
Worry not my sons
Child, when life don't seem worth livin'
Come to Jesus and let Him hold you in His arms

8. Wedding Day - Rosie Thomas
so much for love
I guess I've been wrong
but it's all right 'cause I'm moving on
I'm gonna drive over hills
over mountains and canyons
and boys that keep bringing me down
I'm gonna drive under skyline and sunshine
drink good wine in vineyards
and get asked to dinner
I'm gonna be carefree and let nothing pass me by
never ever again

9. Like Everyone She Knows - James Taylor
(My poppa sent me this one, so it's special)

Like everyone she knows
She's holding out for truelove
Waiting on an answer
Ready for a change
And everywhere she goes
She's just a little bit on the lookout
A day might mean tomorrow
Questions still remain
It's not that she's so sad
She always was a happy soul
But lately she gets to wonder to herself
What's the good of going on anymore

I see her in her room
Sitting at the window
Wondering if she's pretty
Feeling just a little small tonight
She thinks of going home
Giving up on the city
Maybe moving back down to Mobile
It's not that far to fall
I know she won't see me
But I might just say anyhow
If I could be right there right now
As I myself was told

Hold tight to your heart's desire
Never ever let it go
Let nobody fool you into giving it up too soon
Tend your own fire
Lay low and be strong
Wait awhile, Wait it out
Wait it on out
Wait it out, It'll come along

10. Single Ladies - Beyoncé
'Cause, if you like it then you should have put a ring on it

What's the buzz?

Ok, here are my thoughts on Jesus Christ Superstar, because I know you were dying to hear them.

So, the really funny thing about JC Superstar is that there are two main groups that think I'm crazy for liking it: a) Fellow Christians who find the musical super offensive, and b) most of my peers who think the musical is just terrible and cheesy.


Couple disclaimers...
1) I grew up listening to the soundtrack as a kid. My mom would play it while she cleaned the house. Well, this, and A Hard Day's Night.
2) Because of my upbringing, I am really good at not being distracted by the singing in musicals. I know for most people, they kind of just freak them out, whoa they just broke into song, huh?
3) My thoughts mostly center around the film version that came out in 2000. Pretty low budge, but again, saw it for the first time when I was 12, so I didn't notice.

So, onto it, then.

Mostly I love its emphasis on the humanness of the characters. It imagines situations that could totally have been between the lines of scripture, and I think really stays true to the biblical character of Christ and the rest of the characters.

Mary Magdalene could totally have had a thing for Jesus. He was well, a perfect man. Again, I really love the focus on this human experience and possible struggles of biblical characters.

There is also a great deal of focus on Christ's struggle with his fate. And the human aspect of having to trust God when you don't necessarily know the plan.

Oh, and his anger in the temple. Great. As well as his getting tired from healing people. Jesus got tired.

I love the political undertones. Really emphasizing how much Jesus was shaking up the scene. His effect on religion, Rome, etc. The fine line he walked between revolution and non-violence. Even his own followers... they wanted an over-thrower of the Roman empire. Then he comes out with the Sermon on the Mount and they're all like, um... what?

In, the title song, Jesus Christ Superstar, Judas questions Jesus on why he came into this primitive culture? Why not come in the future? When we have television and media? He could be so much more successful. Interesting.
"If you'd come today, you could have reached a whole nation
Israel in 4 BC had no mass communication."

And finally Judas. I love this imagining of his situation. He really wants what's best for the movement. He questions Jesus on his motives, popularity, etc. His struggle and fall is so heartbreaking. And at every betraying turn, Christ reaches out to him in grace. ugh. Rip your heart out.

It's just nice to remember that these were all humans: Mary, Pilot, Judas, and yes, even Jesus Christ were stuck in this existence.

dilemma

What I want to be doing:

Writing a couple papers basically musing about the following concepts (these are real assignments!):
-ubuntu
-echad/wholeness/post-modernism
-the effects of modernism/industrial revolution
-public responsibility in social development
-Public psychology
-capitalism and the american dream and how they effect our domestic and foreign policy
-modernization, dependency, and world systems theories
-logos/zoe

What I am doing:

Waiting for a video to convert so I can import it into After Effects and get really frustrated when I try to edit it in any way. And also getting frustrated that my idea is going nowhere, at least not in a collage format. I may need a new idea. So I have moved on to my mashup instead!

Failure

I have been failing royally recently. Miraculously, my grades seem to still be in order. This is not some "woe is me", "I just try so hard" failing either. It is just blatant loss of will to do the right thing. Failing over and over and over. When I try to will myself to do the right thing, I fall flat on my face.

So I am trying something new. I am trying to return to God every time this happens. "God, I'm sorry. I messed up." And just sitting there with Him. I'm not sure why. But it seems a better option than the cycle of self-beating that goes on in my head. Because though I may feel guilty for a minute, I always fail again. Self-fulfilling prophecy perhaps?

I've also considered the fact that this cycle may be a small, more dormant part of my anxiety issues. My anxiety is usually oriented around situations in which I feel trapped with no escape. Perhaps I feel trapped in my schedule/schoolwork/etc. so I do any small thing I can to escape. Skip, sleep, etc. Or maybe I'm just a lazy bastard. I don't want to justify myself too much.

Porch Sitting

There are a few things I want in my eventual home. One is a good dining room table. One that people like to sit at.

The other is a sitting porch. It really doesn't have to be much. Stone steps will do, as long as people congregate there.

I really love Grand Rapids. I'm sitting on some stone steps outside Justin's house on College Ave., just south of Wealthy. I'm listening to Rubber Soul, my favorite Beatles album. The sun is warming my toes. This love of Grand Rapids atmosphere may be because I've never really lived in the city. I would like to.

There's just something about downtown GR in the sunshine....

Failed attempts at cooking

I just attempted to make a baked potato. I overcooked the broccoli and what came out of the microwave looked like a small, brown, shriveled creature.

So, in lieu of that, I cut up some cheddar, and strawberries, and I have some great whole grain sesame crackers and a couple yeast rolls. Not an extremely diverse meal, but a tasty and pretty wholesome one nonetheless.

I am currently sitting on the couch, waiting for the Oscars, converting some video, and feeling a small sense of dread about the week ahead. Praying for motivation, courage, and a desire to work hard, instead of the small voice that always encourages me to take shortcuts.